Saturday, March 17, 2018

The journey and lifes quick turns

“Language is a treacherous thing, a most unsure vehicle, and it can seldom arrange descriptive words in such a way that will not inflate the facts - - by help of the reader’s imagination.” Mark Twain  


I have so many thoughts running through my head, and my heart aches. I have been meditating on events, praying, and going inward to take lessons from this, to make sense of it all and grow from it.  My partner had cold feet the day before our wedding day, but it was so much more than that. While communication could have solved all of these problems, because I live with anxiety, I understand that sometimes our emotions can turn a situation into a very distorted view of reality. I need to own my actions that caused him to feel that way, and he needs to take responsibility for better communication. If we had talked about it sooner, this would not have happened. I partially blame myself for my hectic schedule. I have not been available to him, and while he is extremely understanding of the reason for that, I need to do a better job of incorporating balance, even while studying for my MDE so that he doesn’t feel like my last priority. Family is first. 

So where do we go from here? I don’t know. We are in unchartered water, so I’m feeling with my heart, but also trying to be logical, which is not always easy when emotions are at play. For now, we are talking, healing, and taking our time figuring that out. One of the hardest things we can do, is put our self in the place of someone that hurt us, to understand their actions. (walk a mile in my shoes). I was gifted with an overabundance of empathy.  At times, it can be a curse; however, the reward, if we can, is that we can learn about them, and surprisingly more about ourselves. 

The support I have received has been humbling and so appreciated.  I have many thank you cards to write after the semester.  I am going to wait until I finish the semester so that I can lighten myself of a bit more of the residual pain I'm feeling, and focus on the light. I am surrounded by angels from family, friends to colleagues.  I feel as if my parents are watching over me by dropping the most amazing people into my life.  I am grateful and I am reminding myself that one bad day/event, does not make a bad life. 

Peace, love & light,   
S

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Honoring our ancestors this Mothers Day

"I stand between those that came before me and those that come after me. Does what I do or say honor my ancestors and serve our grandchildren’s world?" 


Mothers Day comes with mixed emotions for me.  While I love the many amazing Mothers in my life that are more like superheroes than most people I know, today makes me feel a little sad.   I miss my Mother and feel a little lonely.  So, hug your Moms today, and your Grandmothers for life is so very precious - you never know when it might be your last moment.

Ron and I share this story, like many who have lost their Mother or other dear relative or friend to Cancer.  This morning was about honoring the memory of our Moms.


Thank you, Moms, for all you did to make us the people we are  today.









Monday, October 28, 2013

POWER FOODS!

Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cabbage, Kale, Chicory, Dried Cranberries, Roasted Pumpkin seeds and  low fat turkey meatballs. MMMMMMMM LUNCH HEAVEN!

What's on your plate today?  This salad packs a punch!

I am so ready to lose myself in a great workout in a few hours.    

FEELING DETERMINED!

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Vision Board Underway!


So what do you do to get yourself invested in the next big goal?  Is there something that works for  you?  For me, I do a lot of visualizing, therefore what better tool than a vision board where I spend a majority of my time?    I am a huge fan of "The Secret" and believe in the power of positive thinking, so this is how I start a lifestyle change, or start moving forward after a big life change.

I recently separated from my partner of nearly 6 years, and I have been so busy with work, my son, and school that I don't think I truly processed what happened, and how different life would be.  At first I had the dog with me so I don't think I felt the loss of "affection" because I was getting so much unconditional love from the dog.  Fast forward a few weeks, and well the ex and I decided it was best if one of us had the dog, and since I did purchase the dog for him as a gift, I had to let go and let him go.   Wow, I miss my dog everyday!    

Still reeling from losing my partner and my dog, I recently received some interest from another man and it reaffirmed for me that I was not in the emotional place I needed to be anywhere in my life.  Professionally, things are fantastic, but personally, not so much.   Internally I panicked,  it was as if my mind did not have the software required to process this new information!  So, to compare myself to a computer in need of an update, I am "rebooting"my life.    Everyone is different, so some people break up and bounce right back into the arms of someone else for solace.  I on the other hand am not that person.  For the first time in my life I can say I am NOT lonely.  I enjoy my alone time, planning my routine, going through my day to day without the complications of dating or relationships.  However, don't get me wrong, I'm sure that eventually I'll get the "itch" for companionship, I have always wanted a life partner and I'm a passionate hispanic women!   I just think its time I fell in love with myself for the first time in my life.   Call it my "Eat, Pray, Love" moment.

"Hidden within each of us is an extraordinary force!"  It's about time I found mine!

Upcoming bucket list item:

First Amtrak trip:  What better time to take my first train ride then in the fall?  I'm going to enjoy my first train ride from Washington, D.C. to Raleigh, NC for Thanksgiving to spend a fun filled week with my sister.  I could not be more excited!    I look forward to taking in the countryside from my upgraded business class seat with wifi and snack car!  Hmm I wonder if they serve cocktails?





Sunday, August 4, 2013

Chicken with Peanut Sauce & Sweet Potatoes - Clean Eating - Clean Eating

Chicken with Peanut Sauce & Sweet Potatoes - Clean Eating - Clean Eating

Today marks a "turn around" point for me; where I am attempting to once again eat clean a "majority" of the time.  We'll just say 80% of the time, as those that know me know that I love my wine, beverages, and I have a mean sweet tooth. 

My sisters continue to be a source of motivation as they transform their lives by shear will, dedication and focus.  They live mindfully, and still enjoy what life has to offer, but not with overly regimented plans, or unrealistic goals.  I will move forward one day at a time, and try to make mindful choices in all areas of my life. 

I'm making this delicious clean recipe tonight and by the looks of it, it will pack a punch of all the things I love, taste, texture, savory and sweet!  If I add a little heat, it will be a taste virtuoso! 

Wish me luck and heres to transforming our mind, body and spirits, one moment at a time.  EAT TO LIVE, AND LIVE MINDFULLY!

Peace, Love & Light
Stephanie

Friday, June 14, 2013

Just a few of my favorite things. . .


"Chief Raven"
 Purple Pottery from "The Calico Cat", and "The Journey is the Reward Scroll"

When my animals enjoy time together.

 The love and joy their companionship brings.
 Candle Light