I have just fallen in love with RuPaul. She's fabulous, and encourages love for all, but that has to start with "love for self". Her frequently coined phrase is highlighted on my dream board "And remember, to love yourself, because if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen in here?"
I am reading her book "Working It! RuPauls Guide to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Style" because I have felt like I am trapped in this fuggly duckling stage of my life. Hard to explain, but I feel like queen frumpy. I've put on weight, am not happy with my appearance, and that shows, and reflects in my "style". I have a great job, a man I love, and my son with me, I should be the happiest queen in the world. So, I purchased this book, because I remember what a transformation I went through when I lived with my friends Corkey and Eric (aka Erica Meadows). They helped me find my "inner Diva", and rebuild after my very unhappy marriage; I need that again. It all starts with "attitude" and "love for self".
In her book, there's a section on RuPaul's friendships and how she had to remove "toxic relationships", and this made me realize that I am not in a rut, I am in a transformation stage of my life, and it's time to forge ahead and move on, not time to wallow and feel sorry for myself!
"My attitude toward friendship has remained the same. I will support and encourage you with all the love in my heart, but if its not reciprocal, I gotta go. When the envy, and negativity of others start to undermine your confidence, you have to find comfort in other places. If your friends are bitter about your success to the extent that they act out, don't expect them to change. They aren't evolved enough to understand that opportunity creates more opportunity. Move on. You'll make new friends who will be drawn to your frequency, and you to theirs. You cannot thrive in toxic relationships. This is an unfortunate fact of life,and the sooner you recognize the tactics of the threatened ego, the faster you'll be able to sidestep its emotional land mines."
I've read this so many different ways, but it remains consistent and true. Surround yourself with those that lift you up, not tear you down. And that will be my absolute path going forward. :-) I feel a small evolution of change going on inside of me! I am almost inspired to exercise. HA HA HA HA ;-) I'M GETTING THERE... BABY STEPS BABY STEPS!